Class
Theme: Overcoming Grief
Understanding Grief and Its Stages
In this class, we will:
- Explore the concept of grief and the five stages as proposed by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross.
- Explore how grief manifests differently in everyone, especially after narcissistic abuse.
- Start a personal grief journal to track our feelings and thoughts.
Materials needed: Any form of note-taking tool you prefer, like a notebook, loose paper, or a computer.
Step 1: Learn About the Five Stages of Grief
Start by familiarizing yourself with Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s Five Stages of Grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance.
Click here to download our PDF about the 5 Stages of Grief.
Click here to watch the workshop by Dr. Taylor Damiani about the 5 Stages of Grief.
Why should you do this?
This will provide you with a basic understanding of the concept of grief, making it easier to identify and understand your own feelings and responses.
Step 2: Reflection on Personal Grief and Narcissistic Abuse
After you have a grasp of the Five Stages of Grief, take some time to sit quietly and reflect on your personal experience of grief in the context of narcissistic abuse. Consider whether you recognize any of the stages in your own experience and how your experience might be unique due to the abuse.
Why should you do this?
Reflecting on your personal experiences allows you to explore how grief manifests uniquely in you, especially after narcissistic abuse. This step helps in personalizing the stages of grief to your experience.
Step 3: Start Your Grief Journal
Finally, start a journal dedicated to your grief journey. In your first entry, write about your understanding of the Five Stages of Grief, your reflection on your personal grief experience from Step 2, and your current feelings. In the following days, aim to make daily entries, writing about your emotions and thoughts, and noting any connections to the Five Stages of Grief.
Why should you do this?
Writing helps to externalize your thoughts and emotions, making them easier to understand and manage. A grief journal will allow you to explore your feelings, see how they evolve over time, and understand your unique grief process better.
Recognizing Your Personal Journey Through Grief
In this class, we will:
- Explore our individual experiences with grief and how it has impacted us.
- Reflect on how the stages of grief have presented themselves in our life.
- Add reflections and thoughts to our personal grief journal.
Materials needed: Your notes from Day 1 and your preferred note-taking tool.
Step 1: Deep Dive into Your Individual Experiences with Grief
Start by revisiting the experiences you identified on Day 1 as elements of your grief journey. For each experience, take time to remember the details: the feelings, thoughts, events, or people involved. Write down how each of these experiences has impacted different aspects of your life.
Consider the following aspects:
- Emotional: How did you feel then? How do you feel now when you recall this event?
- Physical: Were there any physical responses (sleep disturbances, appetite changes, fatigue)?
- Relationships: How did these experiences affect your interactions with others?
- Self-perception: How did these experiences impact your view of yourself?
Why should you do this?
This deep dive can help you explore your individual experiences with grief and their impacts on a granular level. Recognizing these impacts is a significant step towards healing, as it allows you to acknowledge your feelings and experiences.
Step 2: Detail the Stages of Grief in Your Life
Reflect more closely on how the stages of grief have manifested in your life. Remember, the stages may not have occurred in a linear order and you might have experienced some stages more intensely than others.
For each stage, consider:
- Denial: Were there moments when you refused to accept the reality of the abuse?
- Anger: When did you feel anger or resentment? Was it directed towards your abuser, others, or yourself?
- Bargaining: Did you find yourself making deals or compromises in the hope of changing the situation?
- Depression: Were there periods of intense sadness, hopelessness, or withdrawal from daily life?
- Acceptance: Have there been moments when you accepted what happened and started looking forward?
Why should you do this?
By reflecting on how each stage has presented itself in your life, you can gain a clearer picture of your grief journey. This deeper understanding can support your healing process, offering insights into your emotional landscape and how you can navigate it.
Step 3: Expand Your Grief Journal
In your grief journal, make a detailed entry about the reflections from Steps 1 and 2. Also, write about your current emotions, any new realizations about your grief, and any questions or uncertainties you have. Consider how your understanding of your grief has deepened and how this might help you move forward.
Why should you do this?
Your grief journal serves as a powerful tool to express your feelings and thoughts, to record your journey, and to reflect on your healing process. By adding detailed reflections to your journal, you’re creating a resource you can return to in the future, helping you see your progress over time.
Understanding the Impacts of Narcissistic Abuse on Grief
During this class, we will:
- Analyze how narcissistic abuse can exacerbate the grief process.
- Discuss the effects of prolonged grief and complex grief that may result from narcissistic abuse.
- Record our observations and reflections in our grief journal.
Materials needed: Your notes from the previous sessions and your preferred note-taking tool.
Step 1: Analyze how Narcissistic Abuse Exacerbates the Grief Process
In this step, delve deeper into understanding how the narcissistic abuse has amplified your grief process. Consider the following aspects:
- Emotional manipulation and Gaslighting: Narcissistic abuse often includes emotional manipulation and gaslighting, which might have made you question your reality and your feelings. Write down instances where this occurred and how it affected your grieving process.
- The cycle of abuse: Narcissists often create a cycle of abuse where they alternate between periods of idealization and devaluation. Reflect on how this cycle might have affected your ability to grieve and move on.
- Grieving the lost potential: Part of the grief you experience might be for the mother-daughter relationship you deserved but didn’t have. Reflect on how this form of grief has manifested in your life. Write down these reflections in your journal.
Why should you do this?
This exercise aims to assist you in understanding how the particular form of emotional abuse you experienced influenced your grief process. By identifying and acknowledging these impacts, you can gain a clearer view of your emotional landscape and why your grief might feel more intense or different from what’s typically described in the Five Stages of Grief model.
Step 2: Discuss the Effects of Prolonged Grief and Complex Grief
In this step, delve into the concepts of prolonged grief and complex grief:
- Prolonged Grief: This is a condition where intense grief lasts beyond the normal time expected and interferes with a person’s functioning. This can often occur after traumatic losses or experiences.
- Complex Grief: This occurs when one is dealing with multiple significant losses or traumas simultaneously. In the context of narcissistic abuse, you may not only be grieving the loss of the relationship, but also the loss of trust, the harm to your self-esteem, and the distorted sense of reality.
Reflect on how these definitions relate to your own experience. Perhaps you’ve been struggling with your grief for longer than you expected, or you’ve noticed that you’re not just grieving one loss, but many. Record these reflections in your journal.
Why should you do this?
Understanding the concepts of prolonged and complex grief can help normalize your feelings and experiences. It also equips you with knowledge about potential challenges in your grief journey. This understanding can support your healing process, helping you recognize and validate your experiences, and navigate your path towards healing.
Step 3: Record Your Observations and Reflections
Write a detailed entry in your grief journal about the observations and reflections from Steps 1 and 2. As you write, note any feelings or thoughts that arise. Be as specific as possible. Also, see if you can draw connections between these observations and the stages of grief or your past experiences.
Why should you do this?
This step assists in externalizing your experiences, making them easier to understand and process. Additionally, tracking your observations and thoughts helps to map your healing journey. It can be incredibly validating to see your progress and insights gathered over time.
Again, take care of yourself during this process. It can bring up intense emotions. It’s okay to take a break or seek support if you need to.
Techniques to Manage and Process Grief
Our tasks for this class include:
- Learn various therapeutic techniques to manage and process grief effectively.
- Discuss potential challenges and strategies for implementing these techniques.
- Update our grief journal with personal plans for using these techniques.
Materials needed: Your notes from the previous sessions and your preferred note-taking tool.
Step 1: Learn About Self-help Techniques to Manage and Process Grief
Research and understand various self-help techniques that can aid in managing and processing grief specifically due to narcissistic abuse. Some of these techniques might include:
- Cognitive Reframing: This involves consciously changing your negative thought patterns into positive ones. For instance, instead of blaming yourself for being a victim, reframing can help you understand that the fault lies with the abuser. This technique can be particularly beneficial for overcoming the guilt and self-blame often experienced in narcissistic abuse.
- Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT): Also known as “tapping”, EFT is a psychological acupressure technique that’s often used to alleviate emotional distress. It involves tapping on specific body points while talking through traumatic memories. EFT can be useful in releasing the painful emotions often suppressed in narcissistic abuse.
- Grounding Techniques: Grounding can help to manage intense emotional or physical distress by anchoring you in the present moment. This might be particularly useful in moments when past traumatic experiences linked to the narcissistic abuse get triggered.
- Self-Compassion Practices: Narcissistic abuse often leads to a harsh inner critic. Cultivating self-compassion—treating yourself with kindness, acknowledging your suffering, and understanding that suffering is a part of life—can help counteract this and support your healing.
After researching each technique, write a summary of each one in your journal, and make a note of any initial thoughts or feelings you have towards them.
Step 2: Anticipate and Plan for Challenges
In this step, think about potential challenges you might encounter when implementing these techniques. Here are some examples:
- Difficulty in Committing to Regular Practice: Many of these techniques require regular practice to be effective. If you’re worried about sticking to a consistent schedule, consider setting reminders on your phone or scheduling the techniques into your calendar just like any other important appointment. You can use reminders on your phone or computer, and you can Consider pairing the practice with an existing habit. For example, if you have a morning cup of coffee, use that time to also engage in one of the techniques. This can help create a new routine.
- Feeling Overwhelmed by Emotions: When beginning to process grief, especially grief resulting from narcissistic abuse, it’s common to feel overwhelmed by intense emotions. To handle this, you might choose to practice grounding techniques first, or to limit the time you spend on each technique and start with short practice times like 5-10 minutes. It could also be helpful to have a soothing activity to turn to afterwards, such as listening to calming music or going for a walk.
- Lack of Privacy: If you’re living in a situation where you don’t have much privacy, it might be hard to find a space where you can practice these techniques undisturbed. In this case, you could consider waking up earlier or staying up later than others, using a quiet public space like a park or library, or even using a bathroom or car for some privacy.
- Resistance or Doubt: You might experience resistance to the techniques or doubt their effectiveness. Acknowledge these feelings as natural and part of the process. To work through this, you might choose to start with short periods of practice, or to read testimonials or research on the effectiveness of these techniques. You can also Remind yourself of why you decided to try these techniques in the first place and the potential benefits they offer. You can also share your thoughts in our community or ask about other’s experiences there.
Why should you do this?
Identifying potential challenges and creating plans to overcome them helps you to be prepared and resilient. It equips you with the tools you need to stick with the healing process, even when it gets tough. By taking this proactive approach, you’re taking ownership of your healing journey, which is an empowering step in and of itself.
Step 3: Update Your Grief Journal with Personal Plans for Using These Techniques
- Choose Techniques: Start by identifying which techniques resonate most with you. You might find grounding techniques particularly comforting or cognitive reframing particularly insightful. Remember, there’s no “right” or “wrong” choice here—it’s all about what feels right for you.
- Personalize Techniques: For each chosen technique, spend some time thinking about how you can personalize it to fit your specific needs and circumstances. For example, if you choose grounding techniques, consider what specific actions or sensations help bring you back to the present moment. This could be anything from deep breathing exercises, to holding a comforting object, to listening to a specific piece of music. Write these down.
- Identify Triggers: Next, consider when and where you’re likely to need these techniques. If you notice that certain situations, thoughts, or times of day tend to trigger feelings of grief or distress, make a note of these. This will help you anticipate when you might need to use your techniques.
- Create an Implementation Plan: For each technique, write a detailed plan that outlines exactly what you’ll do, when you’ll do it, and how you’ll know it’s time to use it. For example, “When I start to feel overwhelmed by emotions, I will practice grounding techniques by focusing on my breath and the feeling of my feet on the ground. If I’m at home, I’ll also listen to my favorite calming music.”
- Develop a Routine: Finally, try to incorporate these techniques into your daily routine, even when you’re not feeling particularly distressed. Regular practice can make these techniques more effective and easier to use when you really need them.
Why should you do this?
By making a detailed plan for how you’ll use your chosen techniques, you’re taking an active role in your own healing process. You’re not only learning new ways to manage and process your grief, but you’re also thinking critically about how to make these techniques work for you in your day-to-day life. This process of planning and personalization can enhance your sense of control over your grief and increase the effectiveness of these techniques. Additionally, by writing this plan in your journal, you’re creating a tangible reference that you can turn to as needed, reminding yourself of the steps you can take to manage your grief.
Creating Your Personal Grief Healing Plan
During this class, we’re going to:
- Build our personal grief healing plan, considering the techniques we learned and our individual experiences with grief.
- Reflect on the week, and discuss any thoughts or fears about moving forward.
- Celebrate the progress we’ve made in understanding and processing our grief.
Materials needed: Your notes from the previous sessions and your preferred note-taking tool.
Step 1: Reflecting on Personal Grief Healing Techniques
Spend some time in a quiet, comfortable space where you can think clearly and jot down your thoughts. Reflect on each of the grief healing techniques we’ve discussed over the past week. These might include mindfulness exercises, cognitive reframing, journaling, or others.
For each technique, consider the following:
- How does it resonate with you? Reflect on whether the technique feels like a good fit for you and your unique experience with grief. Does it provide you with comfort, insight, relief, or any other positive outcome?
- Have you tried it? If you’ve already tried using the technique, reflect on the experience. Was it helpful? Did you encounter any difficulties?
- How might you incorporate it into your daily or weekly routine? Consider practical ways you can make this technique a regular part of your life.
Write down your reflections.
Step 2: Constructing Your Grief Healing Plan
Based on your reflections, create your personalized grief healing plan. This plan should provide a clear roadmap of how you’ll use the various healing techniques on a regular basis. It can include:
- Daily practices: Techniques you can use each day, like mindfulness exercises in the morning or journaling before bed.
- Situational practices: Techniques you can use when certain situations trigger your grief, like cognitive reframing when you catch yourself in a cycle of negative thoughts.
- Emergency practices: Techniques you can turn to when your grief feels particularly overwhelming, like deep breathing exercises or reaching out to a supportive friend or therapist.
Ensure your plan is feasible and fits into your lifestyle. Adjust it as needed, keeping in mind it should support your healing process, not add stress to it.
Step 3: Reflecting on the Week and Exploring Thoughts or Fears About Moving Forward
Reflect on the past week of this grief healing journey. How have you changed since the start? What insights have you gained about your grief? Write these reflections in your journal.
Next, consider any fears or uncertainties you have about moving forward. Are there any challenges you anticipate in sticking to your grief healing plan? Are there any aspects of your grief you’re afraid to face? Acknowledge these fears, and consider how you might use your healing techniques to address them. Write down these thoughts and potential solutions in your journal.
Step 4: Celebrating Your Progress
Finally, it’s time to celebrate your progress. Even though the grief healing journey is long and challenging, it’s important to acknowledge each step forward. Reflect on what you’ve learned about yourself and your grief over the past week, and give yourself a metaphorical pat on the back for the effort you’ve put into understanding and processing your grief.
Perhaps you’d like to treat yourself to something you enjoy or write a letter to yourself acknowledging the strength and resilience you’ve shown. Whatever form your celebration takes, make sure it feels meaningful and encouraging to you.
Remember, it’s okay if your plan isn’t perfect or if progress seems slow. Healing from grief is a journey, and each step, no matter how small, is a move in the right direction. It’s okay to adapt your plan as you continue to learn more about your grief and what helps you heal.
Understanding Grief and Its Stages
In this class, we will:
- Explore the concept of grief and the five stages as proposed by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross.
- Explore how grief manifests differently in everyone, especially after narcissistic abuse.
- Start a personal grief journal to track our feelings and thoughts.
Materials needed: Any form of note-taking tool you prefer, like a notebook, loose paper, or a computer.
Step 1: Learn About the Five Stages of Grief
Start by familiarizing yourself with Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s Five Stages of Grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance.
Click here to download our PDF about the 5 Stages of Grief.
Click here to watch the workshop by Dr. Taylor Damiani about the 5 Stages of Grief.
Why should you do this?
This will provide you with a basic understanding of the concept of grief, making it easier to identify and understand your own feelings and responses.
Step 2: Reflection on Personal Grief and Narcissistic Abuse
After you have a grasp of the Five Stages of Grief, take some time to sit quietly and reflect on your personal experience of grief in the context of narcissistic abuse. Consider whether you recognize any of the stages in your own experience and how your experience might be unique due to the abuse.
Why should you do this?
Reflecting on your personal experiences allows you to explore how grief manifests uniquely in you, especially after narcissistic abuse. This step helps in personalizing the stages of grief to your experience.
Step 3: Start Your Grief Journal
Finally, start a journal dedicated to your grief journey. In your first entry, write about your understanding of the Five Stages of Grief, your reflection on your personal grief experience from Step 2, and your current feelings. In the following days, aim to make daily entries, writing about your emotions and thoughts, and noting any connections to the Five Stages of Grief.
Why should you do this?
Writing helps to externalize your thoughts and emotions, making them easier to understand and manage. A grief journal will allow you to explore your feelings, see how they evolve over time, and understand your unique grief process better.
Recognizing Your Personal Journey Through Grief
In this class, we will:
- Explore our individual experiences with grief and how it has impacted us.
- Reflect on how the stages of grief have presented themselves in our life.
- Add reflections and thoughts to our personal grief journal.
Materials needed: Your notes from Day 1 and your preferred note-taking tool.
Step 1: Deep Dive into Your Individual Experiences with Grief
Start by revisiting the experiences you identified on Day 1 as elements of your grief journey. For each experience, take time to remember the details: the feelings, thoughts, events, or people involved. Write down how each of these experiences has impacted different aspects of your life.
Consider the following aspects:
- Emotional: How did you feel then? How do you feel now when you recall this event?
- Physical: Were there any physical responses (sleep disturbances, appetite changes, fatigue)?
- Relationships: How did these experiences affect your interactions with others?
- Self-perception: How did these experiences impact your view of yourself?
Why should you do this?
This deep dive can help you explore your individual experiences with grief and their impacts on a granular level. Recognizing these impacts is a significant step towards healing, as it allows you to acknowledge your feelings and experiences.
Step 2: Detail the Stages of Grief in Your Life
Reflect more closely on how the stages of grief have manifested in your life. Remember, the stages may not have occurred in a linear order and you might have experienced some stages more intensely than others.
For each stage, consider:
- Denial: Were there moments when you refused to accept the reality of the abuse?
- Anger: When did you feel anger or resentment? Was it directed towards your abuser, others, or yourself?
- Bargaining: Did you find yourself making deals or compromises in the hope of changing the situation?
- Depression: Were there periods of intense sadness, hopelessness, or withdrawal from daily life?
- Acceptance: Have there been moments when you accepted what happened and started looking forward?
Why should you do this?
By reflecting on how each stage has presented itself in your life, you can gain a clearer picture of your grief journey. This deeper understanding can support your healing process, offering insights into your emotional landscape and how you can navigate it.
Step 3: Expand Your Grief Journal
In your grief journal, make a detailed entry about the reflections from Steps 1 and 2. Also, write about your current emotions, any new realizations about your grief, and any questions or uncertainties you have. Consider how your understanding of your grief has deepened and how this might help you move forward.
Why should you do this?
Your grief journal serves as a powerful tool to express your feelings and thoughts, to record your journey, and to reflect on your healing process. By adding detailed reflections to your journal, you’re creating a resource you can return to in the future, helping you see your progress over time.
Understanding the Impacts of Narcissistic Abuse on Grief
During this class, we will:
- Analyze how narcissistic abuse can exacerbate the grief process.
- Discuss the effects of prolonged grief and complex grief that may result from narcissistic abuse.
- Record our observations and reflections in our grief journal.
Materials needed: Your notes from the previous sessions and your preferred note-taking tool.
Step 1: Analyze how Narcissistic Abuse Exacerbates the Grief Process
In this step, delve deeper into understanding how the narcissistic abuse has amplified your grief process. Consider the following aspects:
- Emotional manipulation and Gaslighting: Narcissistic abuse often includes emotional manipulation and gaslighting, which might have made you question your reality and your feelings. Write down instances where this occurred and how it affected your grieving process.
- The cycle of abuse: Narcissists often create a cycle of abuse where they alternate between periods of idealization and devaluation. Reflect on how this cycle might have affected your ability to grieve and move on.
- Grieving the lost potential: Part of the grief you experience might be for the mother-daughter relationship you deserved but didn’t have. Reflect on how this form of grief has manifested in your life. Write down these reflections in your journal.
Why should you do this?
This exercise aims to assist you in understanding how the particular form of emotional abuse you experienced influenced your grief process. By identifying and acknowledging these impacts, you can gain a clearer view of your emotional landscape and why your grief might feel more intense or different from what’s typically described in the Five Stages of Grief model.
Step 2: Discuss the Effects of Prolonged Grief and Complex Grief
In this step, delve into the concepts of prolonged grief and complex grief:
- Prolonged Grief: This is a condition where intense grief lasts beyond the normal time expected and interferes with a person’s functioning. This can often occur after traumatic losses or experiences.
- Complex Grief: This occurs when one is dealing with multiple significant losses or traumas simultaneously. In the context of narcissistic abuse, you may not only be grieving the loss of the relationship, but also the loss of trust, the harm to your self-esteem, and the distorted sense of reality.
Reflect on how these definitions relate to your own experience. Perhaps you’ve been struggling with your grief for longer than you expected, or you’ve noticed that you’re not just grieving one loss, but many. Record these reflections in your journal.
Why should you do this?
Understanding the concepts of prolonged and complex grief can help normalize your feelings and experiences. It also equips you with knowledge about potential challenges in your grief journey. This understanding can support your healing process, helping you recognize and validate your experiences, and navigate your path towards healing.
Step 3: Record Your Observations and Reflections
Write a detailed entry in your grief journal about the observations and reflections from Steps 1 and 2. As you write, note any feelings or thoughts that arise. Be as specific as possible. Also, see if you can draw connections between these observations and the stages of grief or your past experiences.
Why should you do this?
This step assists in externalizing your experiences, making them easier to understand and process. Additionally, tracking your observations and thoughts helps to map your healing journey. It can be incredibly validating to see your progress and insights gathered over time.
Again, take care of yourself during this process. It can bring up intense emotions. It’s okay to take a break or seek support if you need to.
Techniques to Manage and Process Grief
Our tasks for this class include:
- Learn various therapeutic techniques to manage and process grief effectively.
- Discuss potential challenges and strategies for implementing these techniques.
- Update our grief journal with personal plans for using these techniques.
Materials needed: Your notes from the previous sessions and your preferred note-taking tool.
Step 1: Learn About Self-help Techniques to Manage and Process Grief
Research and understand various self-help techniques that can aid in managing and processing grief specifically due to narcissistic abuse. Some of these techniques might include:
- Cognitive Reframing: This involves consciously changing your negative thought patterns into positive ones. For instance, instead of blaming yourself for being a victim, reframing can help you understand that the fault lies with the abuser. This technique can be particularly beneficial for overcoming the guilt and self-blame often experienced in narcissistic abuse.
- Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT): Also known as “tapping”, EFT is a psychological acupressure technique that’s often used to alleviate emotional distress. It involves tapping on specific body points while talking through traumatic memories. EFT can be useful in releasing the painful emotions often suppressed in narcissistic abuse.
- Grounding Techniques: Grounding can help to manage intense emotional or physical distress by anchoring you in the present moment. This might be particularly useful in moments when past traumatic experiences linked to the narcissistic abuse get triggered.
- Self-Compassion Practices: Narcissistic abuse often leads to a harsh inner critic. Cultivating self-compassion—treating yourself with kindness, acknowledging your suffering, and understanding that suffering is a part of life—can help counteract this and support your healing.
After researching each technique, write a summary of each one in your journal, and make a note of any initial thoughts or feelings you have towards them.
Step 2: Anticipate and Plan for Challenges
In this step, think about potential challenges you might encounter when implementing these techniques. Here are some examples:
- Difficulty in Committing to Regular Practice: Many of these techniques require regular practice to be effective. If you’re worried about sticking to a consistent schedule, consider setting reminders on your phone or scheduling the techniques into your calendar just like any other important appointment. You can use reminders on your phone or computer, and you can Consider pairing the practice with an existing habit. For example, if you have a morning cup of coffee, use that time to also engage in one of the techniques. This can help create a new routine.
- Feeling Overwhelmed by Emotions: When beginning to process grief, especially grief resulting from narcissistic abuse, it’s common to feel overwhelmed by intense emotions. To handle this, you might choose to practice grounding techniques first, or to limit the time you spend on each technique and start with short practice times like 5-10 minutes. It could also be helpful to have a soothing activity to turn to afterwards, such as listening to calming music or going for a walk.
- Lack of Privacy: If you’re living in a situation where you don’t have much privacy, it might be hard to find a space where you can practice these techniques undisturbed. In this case, you could consider waking up earlier or staying up later than others, using a quiet public space like a park or library, or even using a bathroom or car for some privacy.
- Resistance or Doubt: You might experience resistance to the techniques or doubt their effectiveness. Acknowledge these feelings as natural and part of the process. To work through this, you might choose to start with short periods of practice, or to read testimonials or research on the effectiveness of these techniques. You can also Remind yourself of why you decided to try these techniques in the first place and the potential benefits they offer. You can also share your thoughts in our community or ask about other’s experiences there.
Why should you do this?
Identifying potential challenges and creating plans to overcome them helps you to be prepared and resilient. It equips you with the tools you need to stick with the healing process, even when it gets tough. By taking this proactive approach, you’re taking ownership of your healing journey, which is an empowering step in and of itself.
Step 3: Update Your Grief Journal with Personal Plans for Using These Techniques
- Choose Techniques: Start by identifying which techniques resonate most with you. You might find grounding techniques particularly comforting or cognitive reframing particularly insightful. Remember, there’s no “right” or “wrong” choice here—it’s all about what feels right for you.
- Personalize Techniques: For each chosen technique, spend some time thinking about how you can personalize it to fit your specific needs and circumstances. For example, if you choose grounding techniques, consider what specific actions or sensations help bring you back to the present moment. This could be anything from deep breathing exercises, to holding a comforting object, to listening to a specific piece of music. Write these down.
- Identify Triggers: Next, consider when and where you’re likely to need these techniques. If you notice that certain situations, thoughts, or times of day tend to trigger feelings of grief or distress, make a note of these. This will help you anticipate when you might need to use your techniques.
- Create an Implementation Plan: For each technique, write a detailed plan that outlines exactly what you’ll do, when you’ll do it, and how you’ll know it’s time to use it. For example, “When I start to feel overwhelmed by emotions, I will practice grounding techniques by focusing on my breath and the feeling of my feet on the ground. If I’m at home, I’ll also listen to my favorite calming music.”
- Develop a Routine: Finally, try to incorporate these techniques into your daily routine, even when you’re not feeling particularly distressed. Regular practice can make these techniques more effective and easier to use when you really need them.
Why should you do this?
By making a detailed plan for how you’ll use your chosen techniques, you’re taking an active role in your own healing process. You’re not only learning new ways to manage and process your grief, but you’re also thinking critically about how to make these techniques work for you in your day-to-day life. This process of planning and personalization can enhance your sense of control over your grief and increase the effectiveness of these techniques. Additionally, by writing this plan in your journal, you’re creating a tangible reference that you can turn to as needed, reminding yourself of the steps you can take to manage your grief.
Creating Your Personal Grief Healing Plan
During this class, we’re going to:
- Build our personal grief healing plan, considering the techniques we learned and our individual experiences with grief.
- Reflect on the week, and discuss any thoughts or fears about moving forward.
- Celebrate the progress we’ve made in understanding and processing our grief.
Materials needed: Your notes from the previous sessions and your preferred note-taking tool.
Step 1: Reflecting on Personal Grief Healing Techniques
Spend some time in a quiet, comfortable space where you can think clearly and jot down your thoughts. Reflect on each of the grief healing techniques we’ve discussed over the past week. These might include mindfulness exercises, cognitive reframing, journaling, or others.
For each technique, consider the following:
- How does it resonate with you? Reflect on whether the technique feels like a good fit for you and your unique experience with grief. Does it provide you with comfort, insight, relief, or any other positive outcome?
- Have you tried it? If you’ve already tried using the technique, reflect on the experience. Was it helpful? Did you encounter any difficulties?
- How might you incorporate it into your daily or weekly routine? Consider practical ways you can make this technique a regular part of your life.
Write down your reflections.
Step 2: Constructing Your Grief Healing Plan
Based on your reflections, create your personalized grief healing plan. This plan should provide a clear roadmap of how you’ll use the various healing techniques on a regular basis. It can include:
- Daily practices: Techniques you can use each day, like mindfulness exercises in the morning or journaling before bed.
- Situational practices: Techniques you can use when certain situations trigger your grief, like cognitive reframing when you catch yourself in a cycle of negative thoughts.
- Emergency practices: Techniques you can turn to when your grief feels particularly overwhelming, like deep breathing exercises or reaching out to a supportive friend or therapist.
Ensure your plan is feasible and fits into your lifestyle. Adjust it as needed, keeping in mind it should support your healing process, not add stress to it.
Step 3: Reflecting on the Week and Exploring Thoughts or Fears About Moving Forward
Reflect on the past week of this grief healing journey. How have you changed since the start? What insights have you gained about your grief? Write these reflections in your journal.
Next, consider any fears or uncertainties you have about moving forward. Are there any challenges you anticipate in sticking to your grief healing plan? Are there any aspects of your grief you’re afraid to face? Acknowledge these fears, and consider how you might use your healing techniques to address them. Write down these thoughts and potential solutions in your journal.
Step 4: Celebrating Your Progress
Finally, it’s time to celebrate your progress. Even though the grief healing journey is long and challenging, it’s important to acknowledge each step forward. Reflect on what you’ve learned about yourself and your grief over the past week, and give yourself a metaphorical pat on the back for the effort you’ve put into understanding and processing your grief.
Perhaps you’d like to treat yourself to something you enjoy or write a letter to yourself acknowledging the strength and resilience you’ve shown. Whatever form your celebration takes, make sure it feels meaningful and encouraging to you.
Remember, it’s okay if your plan isn’t perfect or if progress seems slow. Healing from grief is a journey, and each step, no matter how small, is a move in the right direction. It’s okay to adapt your plan as you continue to learn more about your grief and what helps you heal.